Sexy football
It feels like only yesterday I was stood in the middle of a Spanish cobbled street with a handful of mates, dressed all in traditional white with a fancy red neckerchief. Not your usual get up, but surrounded by hundreds of others all in the same attire…
As we all looked around, most of our whites stained in Sangria, the look of dread and anxiety was common ground. Ding ding ding ding ding; the sound of a bell could be heard in the distance. This was the moment we had all been dreading to hear: this was the sign the bulls had been released. It was time to run.
That was in July 2011; we were at the Running of the bulls in San Fermin, Pamplona. I remember then questioning myself. What I was thinking? This was definitely one of the more ridiculous things I’d signed up to do. I happily convinced myself I’d stick to the nice and easy here on in.
Answer the call
Almost 10 years to the day, and apparently I still can’t resist a little lunacy… as this July I’ll be swapping pitchers for pitches, and raging bulls for leather ones, taking part in without doubt one of the other most absurd, challenging yet rewarding things I’ve done in my time: The TackleAfrica Football Marathon.
A football what?
A football marathon! Not “A long-distance running race, strictly one of 26 miles.” type one, but more “A long-lasting or difficult task or activity.” type thing. Long-lasting being 12 hours, and difficult task or activity coming in the shape of non-stop 6-a-side games.
All for a good cause though, namely TackleAfrica; a charity set up in 2002 to engage and educate young people in Africa about HIV and Sexual and Reproductive Health and Rights (SRHR). Since then their programmes have gone on to reach over 20,000 young people and communities, distributing over 100,000 contraceptives and 15,000 enrolled into voluntary HIV testing. Amazing right!
How it works
Enter a team - Teams pay a fee to enter, then its left with them to get sponsorship through friends, family, work and anyone else kind enough to spare a few quid! Teams are awarded seeding points based on how much they raise, and there are even bonus points up for grabs for things like the best team name.
Choose a name - Even this bit can be a bit of a challenge in itself. We always aim to get something that covers football and African nations (easier said than done)… last year we went for Hat-trick Swayze-land; this year we’ve gone with the topical Any holes Angola…!
Pick a squad - Of up to 8 players, with TackleAfrica providing each squad with a set of snazzy squad shirts available in a whole load of colours (we’ve gone Electric Pink this year, not for the feint hearted), so we’ll be hard to miss.
Matches of the day
Truth be told, this is actually my fourth football marathon. Every year my mates run a team, every year I get an invite, every year I politely decline and every year I get my arm bent and sign up!
Arriving on the day to the most football pitches you’ve ever seen in your life, and probably the most footy players too; a DJ will be providing the soundtrack for the day, as teams of all sexes play their games, walk to the next pitch, and repeat!
Games start off with a group round before moving into the knock-out phases, ending with the grand final at the end of the day, usually watched by all the teams, their friends and family, before the winners finally lift the trophy to huge applause.
Stick to my do’s and don’ts and you could just be in with a shout of grabbing the gold!
Do: Get an early night - The day usually starts early, like 7am early! So don’t do what I did in my first year, turning up bleary eyed with only a few hours sleep. A night on the tiles wasn’t the best prep (damn whoever I agreed to replace that morning)… ouch!
Don’t: Forget to bring supplies - That same year, I turned up armed with a bottle of water, a sandwich and crisps. Apparently the layout of the day was lost in translation. I thought the day ended at 12 midday, when in fact they meant it was a 12 hour day (suddenly everyones huge supplies of pasta, fruit and sweets made sense)…fail!
Do: Get greased up - By my second footy marathon, albeit a little wrinklier and slower, I was also a little wiser and now 20% pure petroleum jelly! Vaseline was my new best friend, lubing the loins and simultaneously helping eradicate the threat of all-day chafe… sexy!
Don’t forget: It’s a marathon not a sprint - A fit squad, clever with them energy levels and rolling subs is key to completing the day. For my third footy marathon, some of the newcomers hit the early games full pelt, and ended up getting injured and withdrawing early… leaving us no subs for the last six hours. Taxi!
Do: Bring Comfies - Especially if you’ve got an uncanny knack of getting your big toes stood on. I swear I have magnets in mine. As you get towards the end of the day, a swap to other footwear can be a blessing, and the simplicity of sliders on the way home are a gift from the comfort gods!
Get involved
So there you have it, my guide to surviving a TackleAfrica football marathon. Godspeed to anyone taking part this year, and for everyone else; please send your thoughts and prayers our way for the 31 July. As the light creeps through your bedroom window, and you start weighing up a fry up, cereal or crumpets - think of us, boots rubbing, lead legs, dreaming of a rest… all in the name of charity.
TackleAfrica Football Marathons are taking place in London (24 July), Brighton (31 July), Jersey (07 August) and Oxford (21 August). For further information or to enter a team, visit tackleafrica.org