The ghost of Christmas presents
We’ve nearly made it folks, on the home straight to festive fun, food and bubbles of various kinds. With a shiny new year just around the corner, I thought I’d finish the year on a high, revisiting some of the memorable (and not so memorable) gifts from Christmas past!
5) Medieval Chess (2013)
Picture me sat there in the living room; paper hat and all… we’re entering the peak present zone (you know, when all the good ones are held back). “What do we have here then. You better open this one!?” mum says, as I’m handed a gift that’s the same sort of shape as a Playstation 2… result, I’m thinking, she’s really pulled this one out the bag.
“As I peel away the wrapping paper, I’m slowly greeted by the faces of guards, kings and queens from the middle ages… not a Sony logo in sight!”
My brain screams this isn’t Grand Theft Auto, as I muster up an oscar-winning smile. I haven’t played chess in forever. I didn’t even like Robin Hood: Prince of thieves! My colour-blindness meant I struggled differentiating one side from the other too. To this day, the chess board remains unplayed at mums.
Verdict: 3/10 - The charity shop that made £12.50, is the only winner here!
4) Adidas Predators (1998)
As a 17 year old, I lived and breathed football. Every spare minute was spent playing it; my bedroom plastered with posters of my heroes. David Beckham was the face of Adidas, and Zinedine Zidane was the best player in the world (scoring two in that year’s World Cup final).
They both wore the Adidas Predator Accelerator; a much more slicker looking boot compared to the previous styles. Slim line with a bright red tongue; their famous three lines were dreamy. They were easily top of my list!
Christmas morning was a good one that year! You know when you get new boots, trying them on at home in your PJs? Walking around the living room, leaving a trail of stud marks in the carpet? Pretending to kick a ball in front of the mirror? Yeah, me neither.
Verdict: 7/10 - A very happy teenager that year… if they were good enough for Becks, they were good enough for me (blonde highlights followed shortly after)…!
3) The Real Ghostbusters Fire Station (1986)
After He-Man and M.A.S.K., I fell in love with Ghostbusters! The cartoon became The Real Ghostbusters for legal reasons, and was the toast of Saturday mornings! We lapped up anything and everything that came off its conveyor belt of merch: Our poor old parents purses took a paranormal pounding!
I’d been a good boy that year, so when we went to visit Santa at a shopping centre in Croydon, I politely fed back my demands for that Christmas: “I know where you live Santa…”
Father C delivered; the fire station was amazing! It came complete with a working pole and a ‘goop grate’ you could pour Ecto-Plazm through to slime your figures! It also had a couple of red doors you could smash your Ecto-1 car through. Epic!
Verdict: 8/10 - The best £38.95 Santa ever spent in Argos.
2) Raleigh Streetwolf (1987)
Before mobile phones and the internet; a decent bike was what any kid needed on the streets. Once the stabilisers had been ditched, it was all about ‘bash-ups and burn-ups’ or making a ramp out of a few bricks and a plank of wood, so you could go all Evil Knievil and attempt to jump your mates!
Undoubtedly the hardest in the list to wrap up / disguise. Kudos to my mum, and any other parents out there that managed to do both! I would have been about six years old when this absolute beast of a BMX (short for Bicycle Motor Cross) entered my life. In a decade graced with Knightrider, Street Hawk and Air Wolf alike, I was basically Crawley’s version of Stringfellow Hawke.
The bike was glorious; jet-black, with some bad-ass mud-guards and wait for it… an electronic sound effects box on the handle-bar, with a button you could press to unleash SFX hell on friends and foes alike!
Verdict: 9/10 - The perfect companion for playing out!
1) Sinclair ZX Spectrum (1991)
In top spot, this was my official intro into the world of computer games, and what an entrance it was! I remember waking up, and seeing this massive box wrapped up in my room. As a 10 year old, excitement levels were through the roof. As I tore off the paper and opened up the box, there it was: The ZX Spectrum!
Not the most aesthetically pleasing of set-ups, it felt like the baby brother of the Commodore Amiga; consisting of a mini keyboard, tape deck and a joystick. When you connected it up to your ancient TV - the loading sound would be something similar to the old internet dial up versus a screaming banshee.
Once the games had loaded; you’d be hit by the explosion of pixelated perfection, the sounds of glitchy greatness and some amazing soundtracks. Certainly unlike anything I had ever seen or heard before; I felt like the king of the castle, jumping into new, unknown worlds!
Whether it was solving puzzles as an egg in Treasure Island Dizzy, ‘racing n’ chasing’ your Ferrari Testarossa in OutRun (so many palm trees), or taking down baddies and rescuing hostages in Operation Wolf... for me this was the Christmas present that changed everything.
Verdict: 10/10 - The greatest Christmas Day reveal to date!
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